The Road Less Travelled
by On-the-right-road
Summary: Some missing scenes where I've tried to fill in the blanks about how Shelagh & Patrick would go about revealing their engagement to those nearest and dearest to them. Follows on from S2, Episode 8.
1. Chapter 1

_**I wanted to fill in some gaps in Shelagh & Patrick's narrative following the proposal. This chapter follows on directly from the kitchen scene in S2E08. Future chapters will focus on Nonnatus House and (hopefully) on the wedding. I have several more scenes in my head and they seem to write themselves, so I hope to get them scribbled down and published before too long. This is my first attempt at Turnadette fiction so reviews would be most welcome and encouraging. :)**_

As she watched him reverently kiss the ring he had just bestowed on her she broke into a smile of pure joy, her heart soaring and singing with a love she didn't yet know how to express. He straightened up, his two rough-hewn hands tenderly covering hers. He met her beaming countenance with a dazed gaze and sought her eyes to try to anchor himself. His mind was racing even as he stood stock still. How could this beautiful creature be his? How could it be that a rumpled, careworn, staid, middle-aged, man such as he was the object of the utter adoration he saw shining from her eyes? He drew a stuttering breath and took a step towards her, clasping her hand to his chest so that she might feel the thundering of his heart. He needed to be certain that his eyes weren't deceiving him, that his mind wasn't just conjuring up a scene which he had dreamed of through many months of silent, solitary longing.

"Do you have an answer for Timothy?"

"I think you know my answer," she affirmed quietly, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I think I need to hear you say it." The earnestness in his voice made her heart clench and her fingers unconsciously clutched at his jumper. Her smile faded to seriousness as her lips parted and she fixed him with a look which matched his own.

"Yes. Yes, I will marry his Dad. I don't think can bear the thought of not becoming your wife."

Something within him broke and a look of wondrous delight overcame him. He swept her up into his arms, swinging her round and burying his face in her hair.

"My love," he whispered. "My life."

She placed her palms flat on his chest and stepped back as her set her down again.

"Dr Turner! Please try to contain yourself."

"Forgive me, my love." He grasped one of her hands and brought it to his lips once again, turning it over and placing a tender kiss on the barely visible scar near her wrist. This time, instead of snatching her hand away, he heard her sigh, sensed her smile. The memory of that painful day, when he had thought all was lost, was still vivid in his mind. When he had been unavoidably called away, she had stepped in, acting like a mother to Timothy, consoling him and inspiring him in equal measure. And when she finally allowed him to tend to her injured hand, he had been unable to resist trying to convey just what she meant to him, to them. He had felt his behaviour `unforgivable but she had bestowed acceptance on his actions, making it clear that she wasn't rejecting him. And, though the months of suffering and separation which followed were almost beyond endurance, she had found her way back to him, emerging into the shrouded daylight to offer him her certainty, her future. And now she had anointed him with a joy unlike any he had ever known. They would be husband and wife. They would be a family.

"Shall we go and tell him?" Her eager question interrupted his reverie. He smiled his approval and, still holding her hand, he turned and led her out of the hall.

Timothy, who had been sitting fidgety and impatient in the car, leapt out of it as soon as he saw the door begin to open. As he raced towards them Shelagh released Patrick's hand and took a step back, lingering in the doorway. This was a moment between father and son and suddenly she felt unaccountably nervous to be privy to it. Timothy skidded to a halt in front of his father, breathless and eager.

"Dad! Dad! Did you ask her? Did she see what I wrote? Did she say yes?"

"Slow down Timothy! One question at a time!"

Dr Turner put an arm around his son's shoulders and moved to stand behind him as they faced the doorway.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Shelagh caught Patrick's gaze over his son's head, a momentary look of surprise and panic flitting across her face. 'Tell him' his eyes said to her, a twinkle of joy suffusing their rich brown depths. She drew strength from them and drew in a breath, leaning down and smiling at the young boy.

"Hello Timothy," she said shyly. "Was there something you wanted to ask me?"

Her shyness seemed to transmit itself to him and he looked down at his feet, shuffling them in embarrassment.

His dad ruffled his hair affectionately. "Come on Timothy, you helped me prepare a gift for a special someone didn't you? Don't you want to know what she said when she opened it?"

Timothy shuffled his feet some more. Then, gathering his courage, he looked up at Shelagh.

"Please say you're going to marry my Dad? he pleaded, "He said he loves you very much and he wants you to be my new Mummy. I want you to be my Mummy too. My Dad said I could ask you."

She felt tears pricking her eyes. A surge of love for this nervous, needing little boy swept through her and she stepped forward to draw him from his father's arms into her own.

"Oh Timothy! I loved what you wrote and I'd love to be your new Mummy."

Timothy stepped back, a huge grin now splitting his face.

"You said yes!" A declaration, not a question.

He hugged her tightly again as she smoothed down his ruffled hair as affectionately as his father had mussed it. Seeing Patrick wipe a surreptitious tear from his eye, she reached a hand out for him, beckoning him to join them in the embrace.

His slipped his fingers into hers, kissing them where they joined. He placed his other hand on his son's shoulder and murmured, "Thank you Timothy. I think we're going to be a very happy family."

_**Hope you enjoyed it!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you for all the lovely feedback, encouragement and reviews so far. :)_**

_**This chapter got away from me a bit and didn't 'write itself' as easily as I'd hoped. It also got a bit unwieldy **__**so I've chosen to cut it it in half and the 'Shulienne' bit will be in Chapter Three (as soon as I've finished re-writing it that is...!) This picks up from the Christening scene in S2, Episode 8.**_

As friends, family and colleagues congregated to coo over the two newly-christened infants, Shelagh found herself hanging back slightly from the throng. In truth, she still felt a little ill-at-ease regarding her place and presence in Nonnatus House, especially clad in 'civilian' attire. Warm smiles greeted her each time she caught the eye of one of her colleagues, but still she imagined she saw a tiny flicker of surprise at every such moment.

Of course, everyone had expressed delight at the news that her active disease was in remission. She had been swathed in hugs by the young nurses on her return to Nonnatus House and she fancied she had even heard Sister Evangalina stifle a sniffle after she kissed the older nun on the cheek in greeting. Sister Monica Joan had anointed her with a quote from Blake and Jane had smiled shyly as she somewhat formally shook her hand, as if they were meeting for the very first time. In many respects she supposed, they all were.

Talk at the dinner table that evening had been lively and joyful. They had marvelled at her speedy recovery, talked with excitement about Chummy's imminent confinement and discussed Sister Bernadette's real name which, she explained, was spelt in the traditional Gaelic manner in honour of her fiercely Celtic grandmother. Trixie had taken great delight in proposing a shopping expedition, lecturing the former nun on what fabrics and colours she should wear and what styles would suit her newly-revealed figure and freshly uncovered blonde locks.

"You'll be a knockout with all the men!" she'd declared, causing Shelagh to colour in embarrassment and Cynthia to exclaim "Trixie!" in hushed admonishment.

Sister Julienne had immediately steered the conversation back around to Chummy's maternity arrangements and Shelagh had smiled at her in silent gratitude.

She may have led a somewhat cloistered existence but she was far from naïve. She knew that her decision to relinquish the habit remained the subject of much curiosity for the inhabitants of Nonnatus House - and probably of fevered speculation on the part of the younger midwives.

Now she attempted to put these concerns out of her mind by focusing her attention on the tiny baby sleeping, wet-headed yet contented in Chummy's arms. The drama of his birth had united the nuns and midwives in sorrowful purpose and, ultimately, in shared celebration. Restored to her old room, Shelagh had slept through the commotion of that night, exhausted by the events of the day and by the lingering after-effects of her illness. No-one had wanted to disturb her and so she had awoken to the joyous news that both mother and baby were doing splendidly.

In the days following little Fred's arrival Shelagh had alternated between visiting the recuperating Chummy and helping Peter to adjust to the vociferous and vocal demands of his newborn son. She was due to resume light duties at Nonnatus House the following week, overseeing equipment and organising the schedule of appointments. With the never-ending cycle of home births, ante-natal clinics, inspection visits and hosptal duties, and with their numbers being further depleted by Chummy's absence, she had pleaded for a greater share of the workload. But although Patrick had seemed to waver at her insistence that she was desperately needed, Sister Julienne would countenance no such arrangement.

"You must complete your recuperation at the pace the doctor's advise," she had said. "You will be of no use to us if you put yourself in harm's way by undertaking an exhausting schedule. My dear girl, I know by your very nature that you would rather put others' needs ahead of your own. I am refusing your offer simply because I care deeply for your future wellbeing. I will be happy for you to resume your full duties _only_ once you are completely restored, if that is indeed still your intention at that time."

Shelagh skirted the unspoken question in the statement and affirmed: "It is, Sister."

"Very well," Sister Julienne had stated simply, leaving the room and leaving her to her thoughts.

Shelagh was completely certain of the path she had chosen, yet one fear remained; that others might consider the possibility that she had dishonoured her vows before the final decision to renounce them had been made. The prospect of revealing to them her sudden engagement to Patrick only heightened her apprehension that unjust judgement could be passed upon her by those she held most dear.

She had not discussed her silence on the matter with Patrick. Instinctively he knew that the joyful change in the status of their relationship was something she would want to disclose in her own time and only when she felt prepared. He had instructed Timothy not to speak of the occasions when they met with Shelagh (or Sister Bernadette as the young boy was still prone to calling her). The time they snatched together, just the two of them, had been scarce and secretive. She knew he felt like shouting from the rooftops that they were desperately in love, and she loved him all the more deeply for his restraint.

But now, her hand newly adorned with the beautiful sparkling ring concealed beneath her gloves, she felt an even more pressing need to broach the subject with her colleagues. It had taken all of her strength to suppress the urge to clasp her Patrick's hand throughout the christening, and to resist the desire to turn her smiling eyes to his every few seconds. Nonetheless she had felt her fiancé's adoring gaze fall upon her often and it had warmed her like the sun.

He had departed only a quarter of an hour previously; he and Timothy had a long-standing arrangement of taking Sunday afternoon tea-and-scones with Granny Parker. She felt strangely bereft without his solid, reassuring presence. Her new family-to-be had rapidly become her comfort and her anchor; without them she felt exposed and adrift. But she knew she would have to navigate this next part of the journey alone. She simply had to unburden herself to Sister Julienne...

**_Hopefully Chapter 3 will follow soon, just so long as my muse behaves herself. ___****As always, reviews are most welcome and will be provided with virtual tea and cakes upon arrival. :)**  



	3. Chapter 3

_**Apologies for the **__**delay in getting this posted. My muse went off to try and write another Turnadette piece, so I had to let her have her way. ;)**_

_**Follows on from the end of the Christening in Episode 2x08.**_

Various groups of celebrants were beginning to make their way towards the spread laid out in the Dining Room. Shelagh spotted Sister Julienne by the doorway, deep in conversation with Sister Evangelina. Resolved in her course of action, she made her way over to stand to one side of them, waiting for an opportune moment to speak.

"What is it Sis…Shelagh?" Sister Evangelina broke off, not unkindly.

"Pardon me for interrupting, but I wonder if I might have a word with Sister Julienne?"

Sister Julienne turned round, somewhat surprised at the timidity evident in Shelagh's tone. Since Sister Bernadette had renounced her vows, the Mother Superior had been secretly delighted to observe the new-found confidence of her former charge. In just a short space of time she had blossomed into such an admirable and assured young woman. Her sweet, kind and gentle nature was in no way diminished by the switch to a secular life. If anything these attributes were more evident than ever before, especially since the inner struggle which had marked her last few months in the order had been resolved. Sister Julienne had seldom seen her so radiantly happy. Her current, somewhat troubled demeanour was an unwelcome reminder of dark days now past.

"Of course you may. What it is you wish to discuss my child?"

Contrition crossed Shelagh's features and she glanced abashedly at Sister Evangelina's quizzical face.

"I'm sorry Sister, I wondered if we might talk in private?"

"Of course, of course," Sister Julienne responded hurriedly. "Let us retire to my office. Sister Evangelina, would you please excuse us?"

Shelagh followed the older nun out of the room and along the corridor, her eyes fixed on the floor as she marshalled her thoughts.

Sister Julienne ushered her into the office and closed the door behind her.

"Please do sit down my dear," she offered, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk.

To Shelagh's surprise, instead of sitting behind the desk, the Mother Superior moved her own chair so she was sitting alongside the young woman. Laying a palm on Shelagh's hands, which were clasped tightly on her lap, she asked gently, "What is it that is troubling you?"

Shelagh took a deep breath, uncertain how to begin or even how to voice her fears. Only God and Patrick had been made privy to what was in her heart; she had not felt able to confide her true feelings to Sister Julienne, lest she tried to dissuade her from acting upon them. She had come to realise that God would not judge her; her love for Him was not diminished by her love for Patrick. Indeed she found herself more profoundly grateful and devoted in her faith than ever before: God had delivered a new path to her, a new purpose, and she strode towards it with a never-more-certain step.

She felt a squeeze of her hand. Sister Julienne was still regarding her patiently, quizzically, and Shelagh knew she owed it to her to proceed with her confession.

"Sister I am worried that you will think I have been deceiving you."

"Deceiving me? How? On what matter?" she replied in a neutral tone.

"Dearest Mother..." She paused and Sister Julienne smiled inwardly in recognition of how the chosen denominate spoke of the feelings they held for each other.

Gathering her thoughts and her composure, Shelagh continued more certainly: "You alone know how much I struggled with my decision to leave the order. For the longest time I feared that God was punishing me for the things I was thinking, for losing my faith in Him. I was in agony and I didn't know which way to turn. You were a great comfort to me and you helped me to find my path. I want you to know how much I counted on you and how you gave me strength to realise that I hadn't lost my faith."

Calmly but with no reproach in her voice, Sister Julienne responded: "Thank you. But that isn't what you've come here to say to me is it?"

"No Sister."

"Then can you confess to me now what these thoughts were? What was it that you believed Our Lord might be punishing you for? Were these the 'other things' you said you wanted?" she probed gently.

Knowing with quiet acceptance what she now must do, Shelagh took a deep breath and slid her hands out from under the Sister's touch. Slowly and carefully she began to remove her gloves. She glanced at her hands to avoid meeting Sister Julienne's expectant gaze and spoke quietly in the echoing silence of the room.

"Sister, I have been truly blessed in my life so far - to know you and to know my purpose in life. I have loved my time in your company and your care here at Nonnatus House. But I know now that God intends me to live a different life. I truly feel that He intends me to love more fully than my calling allowed, to create a loving home of my own. I have found the place where I need to be."

She found her certainty as she finally slipped her left hand free from the glove robing it. The sight of her elegantly understated engagement ring gave her the strength to continue:

"And I have found who I need to be with, and he has found me. Sister, please forgive me if this causes you to doubt me. I only resolved on my course of action after I had divined God's purpose for me. I believe He wants me to heal a wounded heart. I feel I am intended to make whole a family who have suffered an unbearable loss."

"You are speaking of Dr Turner and his son?"

Shelagh dropped her eyes to her lap in relief at the Mother Superior's pre-emptive knowledge.

"Yes Sister. I tried to fight my feelings for him for so long. But I have come to love him beyond all reason, and to care deeply for this child who sorely needs me. Dr Turner has today asked me to marry him and I have accepted. We hope to be married within the month." A smile of pure happiness at the thought appeared unbidden on her face, until it was chased away by an uncertain frown. She desperately needed to receive Sister Julienne's blessing but felt a flush of shame at not having sought it before now.

"Oh my child, do you think I could not guess what was in your heart?"

Shelagh looked up in surprise and Sister Julienne continued: "Do you not recall that I said we'd all felt the pull of other things at some point? That I myself had endured times of confusion regarding my vocation?"

Shelagh murmured her assent, but in truth the empathy which the Mother Superior had expressed that day had been all-but subsumed by her own agony of indecision. Sister Julienne, was so devout, so devoted, that Shelagh had not given proper credence to the idea of that she might have suffered similar doubts. She fixed her now with a clear gaze, seeing her anew as she continued her narrative:

"Yes, my child. I too have had occasion to wonder what God's purpose was for me. I have found myself at a crossroads twice in my life, and both times I have trusted to Him to lead me in the right direction. That is not to say that I haven't doubted myself or the Lord himself, may He forgive me."

A reflective smile appeared on her face as she remembered the frail and shell-shocked young soldier who she had spent many months ministering to, although it had been many moons - indeed a lifetime - ago. It was to him that her thoughts had turned when Sister Bernadette delivered her confession about having lied; to Sister Julienne, to God and to herself. She had recognised the symptoms which were afflicting the young nun because she herself had suffered them in her own novicehood. Sister Julienne recognised in that moment that it wasn't a loss of faith or the after-effects of TB which ailed her; she was simply heartsick, desperately so. She sought to reassure her now:

"Believe me, you were not alone in this. I couldn't give you my full counsel then because I could see that your heart was heavy with love as well as sorrow. It was not for me to guide you in your decision: it was for you alone to divine, with God's help of course."

She paused and regarded the solemn young woman sat beside her.

"Is it that you now doubt your chosen course? Is that why you have asked to speak with me?"

The question startled Shelagh.

"No, no, of course not!" she exclaimed passionately. "I couldn't be more certain."

"Then what is it, my dear sweet girl?"

"I need to know I have your blessing and your understanding in this matter Sister. I couldn't bear it if you thought ill of my behaviour, or if you believed that Patrick, uh, Dr Turner, had acted inappropriately at any time."

"My dear," she intoned gravely. "I have known Dr Turner for many years, ever since he first qualified and chose to practice here in Poplar. There are not many men of his standing who would have foregone a practice in a more affluent area, or indeed a career as a surgeon. I know he was qualified to pursue that path if he so desired. But we are all so grateful for his decision to reside and practice here in this parish."

"As am I Sister," Shelagh interjected, smiling shyly to herself.

Sister Julienne continued on, intent on putting Shelagh's mind completely at ease:

"I could never consider that Dr Turner would act inappropriately with you, or with anyone else for that matter. My dear, you came to us as little more than a child yourself and perhaps you are still a little unschooled in the subject of men..."

Shelagh opened her mouth to protest but was silenced by the earnestness in the Mother Superior's voice.

"But amongst those I have met, Dr Turner is one of the kindest and most gentle to be found."

She hesitated, searching her conscience for permission to go on.

"I've never spoken of this before and I do so now only because I am assured of your place in his affections." She gestured towards Shelagh's left hand where she was unconsciously caressing her engagement ring.

"I ministered to him and his wife when she was at the sanitarium and during her final days at the hospice. Sarah Turner was very weak at the end, barely conscious of his presence. Yet he wouldn't leave her side, nor even let go of her hand for fear of her dying without his comfort. Of course he'd come to terms with her diagnosis from a medical doctor's point of view, but still I witnessed how powerless it made him feel. He focused his strength on caring for his wife and shielding Timothy from the true horrors of his mother's illness. On her deathbed he vowed to her and to me that he would do everything in his power to make sure the boy grew up knowing he was loved. He never spoke of it to me again."

"Sister, he spoke of it to me, of his worries for Timothy. I tried to do what I could to help, as a colleague, a friend - and as a servant of God. And I found myself falling in love with him, with them. I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop it from happening, no matter how fervently I prayed. When I was diagnosed with the same illness which had taken his wife, I knew I must completely sever my ties with him. I couldn't let him go through any more suffering; this was my cross to bear alone. But he wrote to me - he wrote such beautiful letters. Sister, I didn't open them, I couldn't, not until I knew I was cured. By then I knew my own mind, I knew what my purpose was. I still don't know if I'm worthy of such a man, but I trusted in God to answer my prayers."

Sister Julienne reached for her now ungloved hand and raised the jewelled engagement ring up for closer inspection. Softly she intoned:

"And God has given you His answer. Shelagh, this is beautiful. And you are truly beautiful, my darling girl. You deserve all the happiness that Our Lord can bestow upon you. On both of you." A frown momentarily creased her features as she exclaimed "Oh my child, how could you think I might disapprove of such a joyful union?"

She grasped Shelagh's hands and drew them to her lips for a benediction made all the more powerful by the tears which filled her eyes as she bestowed it.

"I have seen you give your life over to serve others, I have seen the grace with which you handle your patients, your Sisters and your friends. And above all I have come to know the love that you hold in your heart. And Dr Turner is a very lucky man, whether he realises the extent of it or not."

"He does," Shelagh replied in a voice choked with emotion. "I know that he loves me just as much as I love him."

"Then you are truly blessed my dear friend. And of course you have my blessing."

No more words needed to be said. Sister Julienne stood and Shelagh instinctively mirrored her actions. The two women faced each other for the space of one breath before the younger moved into arms held wide to welcome her. As they clung to each other, she felt the Mother Superior stroke a soothing hand through her hair. A small sob of joy escaped Shelagh's throat and she pulled back just far enough to take in the serene smile which now suffused Sister Julienne's face. An echoing smile dawned on her own and she brushed away an unfallen tear lingering in the corner of her eye. "Mother," she murmured before she moved back into the embrace once more.

As they parted Sister Julienne smoothed down her habit and shuttered her emotions. She clasped Shelagh's hands and spoke again in a voice which brooked no disavowal: "You and Dr Turner - Patrick- will join us for supper this evening. You are both part of our family here and you simply must share your joyous news with the others."

Shelagh felt her heart lighten and her fears fly into the ether as the import of Sister Julienne's words washed over her. She was accepted. _They_ were accepted. Nonnatus House was truly her home again, even if it was to be just for a short while.

_**Please review and do help yourself to virtual tea and cakes While you're at it. :)**_

_**Next Chapter: Telling the others. **_


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